2 Meredith tickets available here. in DONCASTER EAST, Victoria for sale

Hi everyone.
Due to a friend of mine cancelling I have 2 tickets available for Meredith this year. Last year I had a lot of fun with a simliar ad so I thought that I would repeat the offer this year.
To put it simply, I'm not asking for any more cash than the ticket price but I want you to tell me why you deserve one or both of the tickets. Tell me the truth, a lie, a sob story, the tragic tale of how the ghost of your granny can only pass on if she comes with you to Meredith, I don't care. Just make it entertaining. The two who most deserve the tickets will get them.
I am also willing to accept bribes such as baked goods, arts and crafts, tasteful nudity and pledges of undying loyalty. Can you train an army of cats to do my unholy bidding? Do you make the best muffins in Melbourne? Are you a talented but as yet unsung young artist? Are you possibly the second coming of Christ and willing to put in a good word upstairs? All offers will be considered
Last year I was offered hand knitted scarves, paintings, baked goods, naked cartwheels and all manor of dark delights. What will be offered this year? Will I get my cat army?
The worthy winners will be selected before the end of October so get your reply ready and good luck
M